Something I was listening to recently really resonated with me. The person was talking about a recent study which showed the power of saying ‘I don’t… instead of ‘I can’t…’.
First it gives you control because it reflects that the decision is yours and your are accountable. It’s a change in mindset that can be very powerful.
Second, maybe because I hear kids say this at a young age when they are learning to do things but I hear ‘I can’t … ‘ in a whiny voice that drags out the ‘can’t’. I don’t sounds more proactive rather than passive.
And finally ‘I don’t…’ should be the end of the sentence. There should be no negotiating because that is the position you have taken.
I don’t eat mushrooms. Why not? I don’t eat them.
I can’t eat mushrooms. Why not? Are you allergic to them? No. I just don’t like them. So you can eat them. Yes but I don’t. Can you eat stuff with mushrooms and take the mushrooms out? No because I don’t like it.